It's Not You, It's Me

September 5, 2017



The old folks say that birds of a feather flock together, and every so often I am reminded of this fact... 


Many of my friendships are situational. These are the people that I've become friends with, but I don't really see them outside of that situation. And then there's a smaller group of people who transcend that. I don't see or speak to them every day, but we share a deep connection. These are the friends I share my dreams, fears and aspirations with. They know me inside out. They might not be aware of my day to day, but they know me. And it's these friends who have given me greater insight into who I am.


There was a point in time where I felt like my head was filled to the brim. There was a lot going on in my personal life and I was stuck in the "I have too much going in my life right now"-story. This story spilled out into many areas of my life... I couldn't focus on finding a job, because I was constantly reminding myself of all the things I had going on in my life. I just wanted it all to be over! 


At this point I was spending a lot of time with my friends. Despite the fact that we would have very deep and insightful conversations, I couldn't fill the emptiness that I was feeling inside. I would feel motivated to make particular changes, but wouldn't be able to keep the momentum going. With the help of Iyanla Vanzant's Peace from Broken Pieces I was able to start rebuilding myself. Reading this book made me realize how my negative self talk was affecting my life. So I made it my business to be mindful of the kind of thoughts I engaged with.


Making changes

I binged on videos and books about positive thinking, the Law of Attraction and living a purpose driven life. I started listening to music that uplifted me and got me excited about life, in the mornings and evenings I would say a prayer of gratitude, and I started tackling my anxiety by doing yoga in the morning. I prayed an intention over my yoga session and let that prayer ring through my day like a gong. I took ownership of my life and started reassessing my actions. These intentional acts helped me organize my life and get clear about the principles that I wanted to govern my life. 


In doing all of this I realized that I was at the root of it all. It was my responsibility to find my truth, stand in it and speak it. I strengthened my NO and YES. And I learned to back them up with actions and accountability. As time progressed I found myself to be happier, at peace, in purpose...


Growing in consciousness

But as I took responsibility for my actions I became less comfortable with certain levels of dysfunction. The eyes of my Soul had finally gotten an upgraded pair of glasses and She could see! The information I was able to pick up on now made such a big difference that I unconsciously started removing myself from certain relationships. By time I looked up, I came to the conclusion that I had outgrown some friends and had stepped into another level of consciousness.


I want to make it clear that this isn't an invitation to judge those around you. I'm sharing this with you, so you can become aware of the parts of you that are reflected in your friends. And I invite you to look at the positive as well as the parts of you that are works in progress.


Be kind and gentle with yourself as you find truths that might make you uncomfortable. Take the time to process these feelings and also challenge yourself in growing into yourself. Love yourself to the next level of your life. Also, be kind and gentle towards your friends. Change happens gradually and sometimes you might find yourself "dumped" by a friend as well. Know that there are seasons in life, and that as you grow in Love, you should also sow Love.


Join the Sisterhood

If this appeals to you, stay close and join the sisterhood on Instagram! We have such beautiful conversations on there... 


Wishing you a day filled with Love, Magic, and Divine Happiness! 




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